(65) NO NO NO NO FROM MISS NICE

DO I SCARE OF PEOPLE JUDGING ME AS A BAD PERSON? NOT REALLY. I THINK IT IS MY OWN NATURE TO BE NICE AS MUCH AS I CAN. BUT CAN PEOPLE ALWAYS BE NICE? THAT IS TAUGHT QUESTION. IF YOU ARE TOO NICE, PEOPLE WILL TAKE ADVANTAGE FOR BEING NICE.

HUMAN RELATIONSHIP IS TOO COMPLICATED. BEING A GOOD LISTENER, SOMETIME, YOU CAN HEAR SILLY LIES FROM PEOPLE, EVENTHOUGH I KNOW THEY ARE LYING. I AM TOO HESITATE TO SAY “I KNOW YOU ARE LYING.“ I AM ALWAYS HELPFUL TO EVERYONE AS MUCH AS I CAN. HOWEVER, PEOPLE ARE TRYING TO USE ME AS JUST A RESOURCE AND NOT A HUMAN, JUST LIKE A TOOL, NOT LIKE A PERSON. I FEEL LIKE I GET STUCK WITH A LOT OF OTHER PEOPLE’S PROBLEMS. THEY DON’T EVEN CONSIDER ME OTHER THAN THEIR NEEDS.

NOW I STARTED LEARNING TO SAY NO. BUT I STILL HAVE A LONG WAY TO GO. I DO NEED TO GET THICK SKIN. I DON’T NEED TO LISTEN TO OTHER PEOPLE’S NEGATIVE JUDGEMENT AND GOSSIP. WHY SHOULD I CARE?

LEARNING TO SAY NO HAS BEEN A WONDERFUL THING. IT IS REALLY HARD AT THE VERY BEGINNING, I FEEL MORE ASSERTIVE, MORE ENERGETIC. I DON’T FEEL GUILTY OR REGRET AFTER THAT. INSTEAD OF GIVING EXCUSES, I JUST POLITELY REFUSED LIKE “I AM SORRY, IT IS BEYOND MY CONTROL, IT IS BEYOND MY CAPACITY, I HAVE RUN OUT OF TIME TO SORT OUT MY OWN PROBLE” LIKE THAT……………